While shopping for pool toys for Misha, we immediately noticed that the boxes featuring happy families swimming together were scribbled with black where any woman in a bathing suit once appeared. The men and children still smiled from the box, but the women had been painstakingly marked out with permanent marker, hiding any skin and sometimes the face and hair as well.
In stark contrast to this conservative tradition is the very strange phenomenon that all one has to do is turn on the TV or log on to the Internet to see plenty of women in short sleeves or less. Every family gets Cable, which brings Desperate Housewives, Friends, and MTV right into their living rooms. The Internet is monitored to an extent (Sports Illustrated, human rights sites, and adult sites are censored, for example) but for the most part, you can find anything online.
Saudi Arabia is both more strict and less strict than I imagined it would be, and both at the same time. As teachers, we are extremely limited in what we are allowed to discuss with our students. Anything related to music, Western movies, dating or relationships, or non-Muslim holidays is completely off-limits. The textbooks we use often feature these topics, which must be carefully edited or skipped entirely. One book dedicated its entire first chapter to discussing different kinds of music - presumably a fairly safe topic to begin an ESL book with - but of course, the whole chapter had to be skipped! Since music is such a wonderful tool for learning language, it is unfortunate that we are not allowed to use it.
The odd thing is that the students are perfectly aware of all the popular Western music, movies, and TV shows, which are filled with all things decadent about dating, love, and romance. It seems that the country has gone to great lengths to shield their culture from outside influences - but in vain.
However, the one thing that they have going for them is that, for the most part, the people believe in their customs. My students asked me what I thought of the abaya - "It is comfortable, yes?" they asked eagerly, hoping I would agree. I said it wasn't bad, but it was a little bit hot. At this they laughed and said it wasn't hot yet! I asked if they liked going to school with only girls, and they said yes, definitely - it was more comfortable because they could uncover and relax. In public, though, they couldn't imagine not covering. One girl explained to me that they cover because "women are expensive [meaning "precious"] and not for strangers to see." They think it's better that in a mixed environment the women are covered, so that the men's eyes don't wander and marriages don't break up. What I see as a lack of trust, they see as a safeguard.
My students are also firm believers in their system of arranged marriages. When I broached the subject, they were extremely eager to tell me all about it. The mother and sisters of the man who wants to get married are responsible for finding a suitable wife for him. The choice is not made lightly - they carefully consider what the man is looking for and what kind of woman will suit him. The man and his family then meet the woman and her family briefly, giving her a chance to accept or decline. The girls love to talk about weddings! The weddings here are segregated - the women dance and party by themselves (in stunning outfits, of course), and the men talk and socialize by themselves. Quite a different type of event than the weddings I am used to. As always, the girls asked me eagerly what I thought of the Saudi marriage system. I responded neutrally, saying that I like the freedom of our way; however, Americans have many problems with divorce. In some ways, the Saudi culture puts a more serious and committed effort into the process. They whole-heartedly agreed. They asked me if I wanted to attend a Saudi wedding while I'm here. Of course I said I would like to, and several of them said they have siblings who will marry soon, so maybe they can invite me.
I find it a bit disappointing that I cannot share any photos of my Saudi co-workers at the university. Last week, I got to know some of them a bit better because the students were on spring break and we had a low-key work week. On Wednesday, the last day of the week, I brought Misha and Sebastian with me to work and everyone absolutely adored them. Misha insisted on wearing his suit for the occasion of coming to my work, which made everyone coo over him, and Sebastian just makes everyone melt. All the ladies wanted to hold Sebastian and dig out lots of toys for the kids to play with. One other woman also had her 14-month old son at work, so Sebastian had a little buddy. I tentatively asked about taking pictures of the women with the kids, but they were quite hesitant and said only if they covered. (Which kind of defeats the purpose of taking their pictures.) So I had to content myself with taking photos of the children only. So, voila!
In stark contrast to this conservative tradition is the very strange phenomenon that all one has to do is turn on the TV or log on to the Internet to see plenty of women in short sleeves or less. Every family gets Cable, which brings Desperate Housewives, Friends, and MTV right into their living rooms. The Internet is monitored to an extent (Sports Illustrated, human rights sites, and adult sites are censored, for example) but for the most part, you can find anything online.
Saudi Arabia is both more strict and less strict than I imagined it would be, and both at the same time. As teachers, we are extremely limited in what we are allowed to discuss with our students. Anything related to music, Western movies, dating or relationships, or non-Muslim holidays is completely off-limits. The textbooks we use often feature these topics, which must be carefully edited or skipped entirely. One book dedicated its entire first chapter to discussing different kinds of music - presumably a fairly safe topic to begin an ESL book with - but of course, the whole chapter had to be skipped! Since music is such a wonderful tool for learning language, it is unfortunate that we are not allowed to use it.
The odd thing is that the students are perfectly aware of all the popular Western music, movies, and TV shows, which are filled with all things decadent about dating, love, and romance. It seems that the country has gone to great lengths to shield their culture from outside influences - but in vain.
However, the one thing that they have going for them is that, for the most part, the people believe in their customs. My students asked me what I thought of the abaya - "It is comfortable, yes?" they asked eagerly, hoping I would agree. I said it wasn't bad, but it was a little bit hot. At this they laughed and said it wasn't hot yet! I asked if they liked going to school with only girls, and they said yes, definitely - it was more comfortable because they could uncover and relax. In public, though, they couldn't imagine not covering. One girl explained to me that they cover because "women are expensive [meaning "precious"] and not for strangers to see." They think it's better that in a mixed environment the women are covered, so that the men's eyes don't wander and marriages don't break up. What I see as a lack of trust, they see as a safeguard.
My students are also firm believers in their system of arranged marriages. When I broached the subject, they were extremely eager to tell me all about it. The mother and sisters of the man who wants to get married are responsible for finding a suitable wife for him. The choice is not made lightly - they carefully consider what the man is looking for and what kind of woman will suit him. The man and his family then meet the woman and her family briefly, giving her a chance to accept or decline. The girls love to talk about weddings! The weddings here are segregated - the women dance and party by themselves (in stunning outfits, of course), and the men talk and socialize by themselves. Quite a different type of event than the weddings I am used to. As always, the girls asked me eagerly what I thought of the Saudi marriage system. I responded neutrally, saying that I like the freedom of our way; however, Americans have many problems with divorce. In some ways, the Saudi culture puts a more serious and committed effort into the process. They whole-heartedly agreed. They asked me if I wanted to attend a Saudi wedding while I'm here. Of course I said I would like to, and several of them said they have siblings who will marry soon, so maybe they can invite me.
I find it a bit disappointing that I cannot share any photos of my Saudi co-workers at the university. Last week, I got to know some of them a bit better because the students were on spring break and we had a low-key work week. On Wednesday, the last day of the week, I brought Misha and Sebastian with me to work and everyone absolutely adored them. Misha insisted on wearing his suit for the occasion of coming to my work, which made everyone coo over him, and Sebastian just makes everyone melt. All the ladies wanted to hold Sebastian and dig out lots of toys for the kids to play with. One other woman also had her 14-month old son at work, so Sebastian had a little buddy. I tentatively asked about taking pictures of the women with the kids, but they were quite hesitant and said only if they covered. (Which kind of defeats the purpose of taking their pictures.) So I had to content myself with taking photos of the children only. So, voila!
Misha all dressed up, ready for work!
Checking out the nice spinning chairs in the resource room.
Sebastian and his new friend, little Abdul Aziz. They call him "Azuzi" for short.
Doing some "work" at the office.
Playing with some toys that working mothers pulled out of nowhere.
One lady took Misha to her office and let him sit at her desk. He loved that!
3 comments:
It would be interesting to go to a wedding there, wouldn't it? Interesting blog! How do you like having the car--is it more convenient? --mom
I hadn't thought about a wedding. I imagine the ladies would be in black. I cannot believe they actually black out the pictures of the women. Love the picture of Sebby laughing with the little boy. Thanks for the great stories. You work so hard and it is fun to learn everything. I miss lil Red
Yes, I hear weddings are an all-night affair here! Ironically, it's the men who wear a black robe over their white thobe, and the woman who dresses in white for the wedding.
The car is nice - especially for getting groceries and transporting the kids. The car seats can just stay where they are! And it's much cheaper renting than taking taxis.
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